HOW CAN I HELP MY BOYFRIEND WITH PREMATURE EJACULATION?

Reddit Story 1: "Boyfriend literally lasts a few seconds in bed"

Boyfriend literally lasts a few seconds in bed

"My boyfriend, 24 years old, and I have been together for many years, but this issue is really getting to me. Whenever we have sex, he comes straight away. He says it's because we need more sex. But it's been like this for the whole relationship. I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to try to get ready and feel sexual because I know it'll last only two seconds."

Reddit Story 2: "How can I help my husband?"

How can I help my husband?

"I've been with my husband for 10 years now and he has always had PE. Usually we get maybe two minutes of penetration, maybe five if you masturbate first. But lately it's really like 30 seconds. It can be very disappointing for me. I have to refrain from talking and moaning or getting into it because as soon as I do it's over. I asked him if he feels nervous about it and he says he doesn't. But I'd like our sex to be more enjoyable for both of us. Condoms don't make much difference and we hadn't had much luck with desensitization creams. Is that a mental thing?"

Reddit Story 3: "He ejaculates within 1 minute - what can HE do?"

He ejaculates within 1 min - what can HE do ?

"My boyfriend is very talented orally and tuned me onto stimulating my G-spot while going down on me, which is awesome. But I also love penetration and he ejaculates in less than a minute. Even though he's made me orgasm five times, I still love penetration. Any advice?"

Reddit Story 4: "My husband may suffer from PE"

My husband may suffer of PE

"My husband can only trust a few times—maybe 20 in certain positions where he's stimulated, then he must take a break. This is frustrating because on one hand these positions are the ones in which I am most stimulated, and on the other, the pauses spoil the experience for me."

Reddit Story 5: "Dealing with my husband's PE for 13 years"

Dealing with husband’s PE for 13 years

"Dealing with my husband's PE for 13 years, I thought it was something I could just deal with over the years since I compressed my libido and expectations to cope. I don't think there has been a single time where there wasn't a concern about how fast he will orgasm. Only times when he has been drinking did it last a few minutes longer—but not often.

I should mention I had great sex in the past with a previous lover—to the point where we stayed together longer than we should have because of it. I hoped in the future to put less importance on great sex with a partner, as it allows more toxic traits to be overlooked. Well, I got my wish this time around.

I never want to initiate intimacy anymore. As much as I sometimes want to be ravaged and fucked so hard—because I never want to get all hot and horny making out only for him to come the moment he enters me—I want to feel him in me. I crave that deep connection of being filled up. The stretch and friction of a real penetration is more satisfying than a 10-second encounter.

He's been to an ED doctor before who gave him a needle in his shaft and he cried when it happened. So I never try to force him or make him feel bad. I just suffer internally and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I feel like crying every time we are intimate. I let him do whatever he wants and I'm always left unsatisfied.

He is aware of it and he hates himself for it—he has even cried to me several times. I just don't say anything.

Is this normal? Do men experience this often?

Yes, they do!

Reddit Story 6: "How to bring up his PE?"

How to bring up his PE ?

"Looking for advice on how to tactfully bring up this subject with my new boyfriend—we've had sex three times. All three times went the same way. He goes down on me for a while—like too long to the point where I'm just dying for him to put it in me. But then when he does, he instantly comes—like not even a thrust. Needless to say, it's super anti-climactic. He hasn't really said anything about it.

So I don't know if this is something that usually happens to him or what. I know it can be a touchy subject and I really don't want to hurt his feelings. But now that it has happened three times, I feel like I have to address it. Any advice on how to broach this subject? 

Reddit Story 7: "Desperate wife - will SSRIs help?"

Desperate wife (suggesting SSRIs)

"Hi. My husband and I have been married for about five months now. I'm 27, he's 25. We are needing some tips on how to make our sex life better. I feel like he doesn't find me attractive anymore, even though he says he does. I have explained to him that we may need to try SSRIs medication. Would that help with the PE?

Yes, it would help—but then he would run into another problem, which is erection issues and lower sex drive. So he might really lose interest in sex. Honestly, anything would help us."

Reddit Story 8: "Premature ejaculation & inability to stay hard?"

Premature ejaculation & inability to stay hard?

"New relationship. I'm a 48-year-old woman; he's 46. We waited five weeks to have sex, but there was lots of naked fooling around. He has a difficult time getting completely hard and, when he does, it doesn't last long. He orgasms literally within a minute.

We finally had sex last night. He immediately had to pull out to keep from orgasming. This went on for about three minutes before he couldn't wait any longer. He proceeded to orgasm by pounding into me. I don't know why he chose to do that—he knows it's not going to feel good.

He's not aggressive normally; I wouldn't mind more stamina, but only being pounded into the headboard for three minutes doesn't work for me. Afterward, he was clearly upset. I asked why. He said it's because he can stay hard but orgasms too fast, then begged me not to leave—as if he genuinely thought I might end the relationship, which, aside from the frustration, is perfect otherwise.

So how can I help? I'm going to talk him into seeing a doctor, but until there's a solution, I want him to know I care about him and would never leave over this. I want to help him. Is there anything I can do to help him stay hard and prolong his sexual experience?

(Response: "Yes, there are many things you can do. I'm gonna talk about it in a minute.")"

Reddit Story 9: "How can I help my BF?"

My boyfriend suffers from premature ejaculation. How can I help him?

"My boyfriend, 28, and I, 23, have been together for three years. His premature ejaculation is really affecting our sex life. I don't know how to broach the topic without hurting him or potentially making the problem worse—especially if it's psychological.

Well, it's usually only partially psychological. I think I know the cause: he was sexually abused as a child.

(Response: 'A little spoiler: that does not cause premature ejaculation. Many guys were abused sexually in the past and they don't have PE. It has more to do with genetics. We're gonna talk about it in a minute.')

I don't know how to help him fix it. Has anyone struggled with this and how did you address the situation? I'm lost here."

Reddit Story 10: "Hubby has extreme PE"

Hubby having extreme PE

"I'm 33, he's 47, and we have been married for 15 years. He has an issue of premature ejaculation—he comes very soon. The normal time of penis-in-vagina is less than 30 seconds.

There are days when he comes even before getting inside me. In the early days of our marriage, he used to last a bit longer—45 seconds—but it has gotten worse over the years. He has tried delay sprays, but they didn't help. I asked if there's any good exercise or yoga that can help him.

(Response: 'Unfortunately, there's not much he can do exercise-wise. However, regular exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, five days a week, can significantly improve stamina. Studies back this up—but more on that later.')"

Reddit Story 11: "How can I help my BF?" 

How can I help my bf

"Okay, any advice? He lasts maybe five pumps. It's really frustrating for me for obvious reasons, and he usually has to resort to eating me out, which I don't always want.

A lot of guys try to compensate with oral, but girls need the real thing. I've tried talking about it and offering help, but it remains a sensitive issue—a pelvic control issue, perhaps. From my experience, it doesn't really matter."

Reddit Story 13: "My BF's PE is RUINING our connection"

My bfs Premature ejaculation is ruining my connection with him - "First 1-2 rounds quick, 3rd 6 min, now even less"

"I'm 22 and he's 20. We've been having sex for a year now. When we first started, I noticed that he did not last very long.

In the first round, it lasted less than one minute; the second, less than two to three minutes. During the honeymoon phase, we had the energy to smash a lot. The third round sometimes would be longer—but it took hours to get there, partly due to recovery time.

Recently, over the last six months, even the second round isn't long. I can’t recall a time when our sex lasted longer than three minutes. I try to be understanding, reminding him that it's not his fault and that I’ve done a lot of research. I suggested we work on our foreplay and even bought a rose vibrator for him.

But I always find myself wanting more. I crave the real, deep connection from proper penetration—the bang, bang, bang of the real dick. I call it a sex workout: you pound and pound while I drift in a sexual trance. Without that, I feel unsatisfied.

Sometimes I end up saying, 'No, not yet,' and it sucks because I’m trying to show him love and compassion. Some days, I just don’t want to have sex because, honestly, what’s the point?"

Reddit Story 14: "How can I bring up my new bf's PE problem?"

How do I (30f) bring up my new bf’s (36m) premature ejaculation problem

"I'm 30, he's 36. I started seeing this new guy and I really like him. He's all green flags—I think he'd be a great partner.

The only thing is he comes so quickly—under a minute. It's gotten a little better since we started sleeping together, but not by much. I really think it can be worked on, but I don't know how to bring it up without messing with his confidence."

6 Problems Women Face Dealing With Their Partner's PE

• Unsatisfying sex life: Too early finishes lead to a lack of enjoyable, complete intimacy.
• Overcompensation: Men often try to make up for it with oral or manual stimulation, but many women crave full penetration.
• Communication challenges: Not knowing how to bring it up without hurting his ego is a huge barrier.
• Uncertainty about solutions: Not knowing what’s causing the PE or what can realistically be done.
• Emotional distress: Both partners may feel frustrated or anxious, impacting overall satisfaction.
• Underlying health issues: Sometimes PE is a symptom of a more significant problem that needs addressing.

Causes of Your Partner's PE

Lifelong PE:

• Genetics: Just as some men have high or low testosterone levels - some men have low or high serotonin levels or unfavorable serotonin genes.
• Hyper arousal: A genetic predisposition toward rapid arousal and an inability to relax. This is something men can be BORN with.

Acquired PE:

• Medication changes: For instance, going off antidepressants like Zoloft can fry the serotonin system.
• Medical issues: Side effects from drugs, surgery complications (like oversensitive areas after phenol surgery), or prostate problems.

The key long-term strategy is to identify and, if possible, remove the underlying cause—whether it’s acquired or lifelong. More about the causes of PE you can read here.

Right MINDSET if You Want to Help Him

• Understand it’s not a choice: PE isn’t a matter of willpower; it’s often genetic or medically induced.
• Be empathetic: Recognize that your partner is likely as frustrated and vulnerable as you are.
• Adopt a team approach: Make it clear that you’re in this together, and it’s about improving your mutual satisfaction.

Myths & Mistakes to Avoid When Your BF Has PE

• Myth: All men can control when they come.
  • Fact: In many cases, premature ejaculation is beyond a man’s mental control.
• Mistake: Blaming or criticising him.
  • Negative feedback can lead to him withdrawing emotionally or even ending the relationship.
• Mistake: Overstimulating him during foreplay.
  • This can make him even more likely to finish too early during penetration. Focus instead on getting yourself wet and ready.

Your HELP: 3 Things That Will Make Him Last Longer

1. Make him cum first and go for the second round: Often, men will last longer on subsequent rounds.
2. Control visual stimulation: Men are highly visual; try using an eye mask to reduce overstimulation.
3. Use desensitizing spray as a “sex toy”: Spray on the penis, wait 15 minutes until it goes numb, wash it off, then have sex.

Before addressing the issue directly, try these methods to see if they help.

HOW TO BRING UP HIS PE WITHOUT HURTING HIS SELF-ESTEEM ?

• understand that he's vulnerable and most likely feels guilty and frustrated
• that's why you need to make him understand that you KNOW that it's NOT under his control. You're not judging or blaming it on him.
• But for him to change he must see it as a problem and be ready to work on it. So:
• Nr. 1 objective = get on the same page that it's a problem.
• Nr. 2  = make him understand that he can change it.
• Nr. 3  = go the journey together. Mention that overcoming PE can time and effort from both of you and, may require professional help, and that you're there and supportive